I’M SICK OF STANDING IN THE SAME PLACE / “Just take it one day at a time” / that’s what they always say / and yet I’m pressured to decide who’s path I am to take / I carry your mistakes and the weight of your past / your words like ocean waves breaking on my back / though you support my decisions / how long will that last before you’re on me again to get my life on track? / still living under your roof / I’m walking out the door / how can I follow my dreams when I don’t sleep anymore? / for me I’m living for today / for you I’m living for tomorrow / I am living lies and I’m missing out on the life I love and all I care about / I can’t write sometimes / sometimes I can’t even think / as I envision my life / it’s getting harder to see / and sitting in this room / these people’s thoughts confined / their futures all so bright / my visions going blind / overwhelmed with doubt and running short on time / I’m second guessing myself and now I’m falling behind / I won’t fall behind / “just keep your head in one place / by God’s grace you’ll be fine” / I won’t fall behind / “one day you’ll find your spot / you’re feeling lost but you’re alright” / take these broken hands and guide me out of this place / I won’t fall behind / take my broken mind and mend it back to health / this time I’ll be alright / I have no idea what I’m still doing here / I should have found myself a very long time ago instead of losing myself in thoughts of tomorrow / somebody pinch me please / wake me from my parent’s dream that they’ve imposed on me / I’m sick of standing in the same place but I won’t lift a finger / I won’t change my ways / you know you’re preaching to the choir / though your intentions are good / a healthy future can’t be so hard to find.

THE DEFINITION OF A DEAD END / Too much to say / too little too late / these four walls could never keep all the thoughts of you in the back of my mind from trickling to the tip of my pen / the ink pours like blood from the tip of my tongue / but the hatred I feel / it’s not for you / but the things you said and the things you did not do / these unfinished entries are all I’ve got left / I’m still here holding on to what’s already dead / keeping it alive within my own head / this migraine is endless / I can’t explain the pain I’m feeling inside / but if you would only let me I could show you / that is if you wanted me to / I’m such a fool / I remember when you said “we’ll meet again when the leaves fall” / well they’ve fallen along with every hope / buried beneath the leaves and the snow / though I might not show it / simply put I’ve been desperate / it takes a weak man as strong as I am to admit that / this past year has been one of my worst / distance has more than one meaning for us / and the closer I get the more distant I become / I have no shoes for you to walk in that could help you understand just what I’ve been running from / but maybe just your bare feet would be enough / at least then you might see why I have been so cold / I took your word / it led me down a dead end road.