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No Sleep

Loneliness Leaves The Light On For Me

by Aviator

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04:19
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03:03
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released June 23, 2017

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Aviator

Fluent, tasty, assured, mature, authoritative, individual, big, bustling, hard, virile, very masculine, sinuous, sinewy, muscular, thoughtful, modern (yet rooted in tradition), imaginative, sensitive, consistently fine.

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Track Name: I Wanna Make Movies, Heather
Last night everything changed
Woke up this morning in a state of grace
Out of it by noon

Why must I be the first to speak?
How come I was the last to know?
Still it never was your fault
I never said it was

And I'm sorry again, I'm thinking again
I'll never understand
It wasn't meant for me
Phase me out

Still I feel wrong
Though we said it was resolved
Maintained it's no one's fault
Still I feel wrong

I just need to know
And I need to hear it from you

To know there's nothing I can do
To change your mind
I need you to know
I would never try

I can't know your side
You can't be bothered to know mine

And still I feel wrong
Still I feel wrong
Though we said it was resolved
Maintained it's no one's fault
Still I feel wrong

I just don't know what to say
I'm writing in a dark room hoping for a light bulb above my head
But I'll hold onto what was said
I'm writing in a lightning storm waiting for a good line to strike me dead
Track Name: Nasonov Pheromone
I watch the colony collapse
anxiously, I admit
Disorder is all we know
and my fear of abandonment
Reassure me please
I need it constantly
A hive too immature
Depletion of workers to hold some stability

It repeats itself (out of order)
We repeat ourselves (out of turn)
It refutes itself (out of context)
and we're falling out (out of concern)

Make memories now
Don't wait for the perfect weather
Make memories now
Don't wait for important days
Make memories when
it's the little bits that haunt us
Make memories when
it's the little bits that stain

When we speak ourselves in circles
we lose ourselves in the cloud
Track Name: Ad Nauseam
Ask me again
See if my answer's changed at all
Since your last interrogation
Repetition won't reap any
Rewards from me this time

I'm an open memoir
Dog-eared
Fraying at the edges
Light-stained pages
Obscuring the message
What good is it to just reread the same familiar passage
Without searching in between the lines?

It's the same old story
With no change in perspective
What were you expecting

I've heard broken, skipping records
With better things to say
Needles jumping grooves
At least can be replaced
You won't get what you want from me
Not anytime soon
Let the chips fall where they may
Until then just assume

It's the same old story
If you don't like the answers
Try asking better questions

Once more from the top
This time with feeling

Try as I might, try as I may
Can't say it any other way
Track Name: I Wouldn't Leave Here If You Paid Me
Sleep well, don't wake up
Sit tight, don't get up
Sit pretty, do your makeup
Sit quiet, don't speak

I'll sit here all day dreaming of the world that I see on the TV screen
I'll stay here all night staring out the window with a fear of what's outside
See myself in the mirror, I am shaking my head
introverted with glossy eyes
Thoughts rich with "I can't"s & "what if"s
Got nothing to prove, nothing to hide

And it's hopeless. Romanticism gets you nowhere, except hurt
With a cinematic view of the world, when will we ever learn?

There's something wrong with my skin,
It won't shed itself like it used to
There's something wrong with my eyes,
They don't get wet anymore
Grown out of touch with my hands,
No empathy for myself or anyone else
There's someone dead in this house
Don't wake them up

Just keep pumping quarters into that machine
Hit the feeding bar for answers never received
Don't question me, don't question me
With fingertips in bandages, drag your knuckles across the broken glass
Feel nothing but the feed, another routine on repeat

Cut me down, I am a figment of purpose
Fill us with your dreams and monotony
Build me up
We aren't the same with artificial roots
There's someone dead in this house
Don't wake them up

Close the windows of our minds to open windows on a device
Digital hands, analog minds.
Are we regressing into the dark age?
Makeshift cave, illuminated face
Pixel mouth with nothing to say
Just a white screen to light our way
Track Name: Looks Deep Enough From Here
Tell me you long to feel these hands
But I'm afraid of my own skin
And I'm afraid I'll rub off this disease
I've made up and discontent within

You pick me up
You breathe me in
Now stomp me out
I'm wide open
You pick me up
You breathe me in
Now stomp me out
Repeat

I focus on the wrong things
Like the way your lips move when I
Should be hearing the words
Instead I'm hung up on my desire
To feel your lips on mine
If only for a second
I'd gaze into your eyes
If I could hide my own reflection

Overthinking the world
Undermining myself
Because my world revolves
Around somebody else
I've got a lot to learn about myself
Need only say the word
And I will let my guard down
Just a spoke in the wheel
And it keeps turning around
I've got a lot to learn about myself
Why stop now?

I never ask for anything
Cause I don't have anything to give
Well that just isn't how it works
No that just isn't how it works, is it?
I've got a lot to work out
I've got a lot to work in
But I'll give up on work now
That I've enough to work with
Track Name: End Scene
Faces hang forever above me
Pointing fingers and muttering something
"You're not getting any younger, son"
I'm not feeling any older, man
Faces linger forever around me
Clapping louder and laughing at nothing
Am I not seeing what they are seeing?
Fixing myself a plot where I stand

The root of all evil doesn't grow on trees
You weather the storm or die with the leaves
When you haven't got a leg to stand on
Walk it off
Work it off

Follow
Still I fall
Will not follow
Even when I falter

The sad truth: where's the honor in this?
No future
Track Name: One Year Warranty
Replaceable
Replaceable (We are always)
Replaceable
I'll fight your lips to hear your words
Replaceable
Replaceable (We are always)
Replaceable

I'm just trying to be brave
Brave like you
You like no one else
No one else like you

I can't sit still for too long
It's why I always go it alone
As much as I'd like to
I won't wait around anymore
Distracted by pictures
I read into nothing

At the bottom of a cluttered page
I've missed the point
Close the book instead
Close my eyes, forget
I haven't lost interest becoming a lost cause
I'll fight your lips to hear your words
Track Name: I Wouldn't Live There If You Paid Me
Staring at a blank screen
Pictures and words are there
But it's all just static to me
Puts a stale taste in my mouth
Like my morning coffee
But why won't it wake me?

I know what I believe
I'd rather live aware and reserved
Than stumble over my words
Wishing I was the one
Who taught me what to say
It'd make sense to me then
Not when talking politics with friends

There's no getting through to you
Just forget it, man
I am no public speaker
Until it's time to stand up
I am no morning person
Until it's time to get out

I seem to have lost my train of thought
Let me start over, start from the top
Can you help me out? I lost my place again
Let me reread into everything I just said
Rework every fucking word I read

And I'm lost again and again and again
Track Name: Safety Coffin
These are the ones who notice the patterns
These are the ones who disappear after
In my state
People are temporary
These are the ones I depend on most
"There's something to be said for time alone"
They say
I open up too early

The mystery is gone

I hide my feelings
Like you hide me away
No cause and effect
Just a steady stream of a steady change

Funny how you write a song
People thank you for letting them in
But it seems like everyone's gone
When you need them to listen

So I put off my feelings
Until the next release date
Bottle my aggression
Until we all can celebrate

Last minute, ruin everything

If you're gonna be buried alive, you might as well be comfortable
Family dinner for one
Loneliness leave the light on for me
Sings me to sleep
Track Name: Does It Make A Sound?
Alive and buried
Or dead but widely received
Clip the wings of potential
And put it back into its cage for good

Where do you see yourself in five years
Wait til the lights are out and see if anything's changed
Where do you see yourself in five months
Wait for the ice to melt and see what's revealed
Where do you see yourself in five days
Wait til the money comes and see if that shit pays
Where do you see yourself in five hours
Wait til the rain stops and see how I feel
Wait til the stars are out and see if anything's changed
Wait til the sun comes out and see what remains

Are we no one's passion or have we just lost our own?
(What if it's all I have? What if there's nothing else?)
We are no one's children, hopeless and alone
(No matter how loud I yell, who's going to listen now?)